i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
