If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
