after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
