Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
