so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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