he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
