Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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