just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you will always have a special place in my vag
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
