Im at strip club and am horny
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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