When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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