walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
