When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my shit smells like andre
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
