I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
