apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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