Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
