he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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