I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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