JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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