she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
