why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
