a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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