I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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