so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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