Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
