Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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