What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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