I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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