OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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