If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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