I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
