Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
