I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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