White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
