she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
