No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
