I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
