I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
