I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
