Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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