the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
pray to the hookup gods
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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