My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
