and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
