You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
