Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
