I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm gonna have a badass scar
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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