I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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