Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
