I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
