got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
