Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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