Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
