So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize