He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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