I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
