How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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