I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
