I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
