You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
