I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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