its not stalking. its research.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
