I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
