remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
this hospital has no fireball
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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