I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
